“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 1[39:14]a)
Fat! Ugly! Not enough! Worthless! I slammed the mirror onto the countertop. Who could love someone like me? Tears welled up and spilled over onto my cheeks. Uncontrollable crying was my pitiful comfort.
From my adolescent years to just about a year ago, these lies plagued me. Other people’s opinions formed my self-judgments. Comparison of my faults with their successes further ingrained these lies.
Satan proudly began to laugh as he patted himself on the back for his success. Another woman discouraged … decimated. One less servant focused on carrying out God’s plan. Score another one for the evil team!
As a wife, mother, writer, person, I frequently battle with thoughts like, “Why don’t I have a life like [fill in the blank]? Why can’t I write like [fill in the blank]? I would be happier if [fill in the blank], wouldn’t I?”
Comparison is a slave driver. It instills thoughts that “if only … life will be better.” These “if only” thoughts begin to grow into jealous monsters that drive us to find the greener grass. The wake of comparison also delivers unhappiness like no other tool in the enemy’s arsenal. It becomes a pit of self-pity and striving that is never quenched. Worse, it opens the door of defiance to God.
“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].” (Ephesians [2:10] AMP)
My hand flew to my mouth when I realized the seriousness of my words and the lack of gratitude to my Creator. What disrespect those words delivered to Him!
I picked up the mirror again after reading this verse, and forced myself to pray:
Thank you God for making me your work of art. I’m not perfect; I’m flawed by sin. But when you look at me, God, you smile. You see a woman who was created for a specific, preordained reason. I am valuable to You. When I spew ugliness about myself, I am vomiting on Your masterpiece. It’s as good as saying, God, You just made junk.
God gave me a revelation that day. I thought about my roles as a wife, mother, and friend. I recounted the things I have done, and the people I have loved. Realization set in that these tasks were unique to me. They were good works that I was prepared for through gifts that God gave only to me.
I also realized that each and everyone around me was intentionally created for a unique purpose. I thanked God for them and asked Him to remove the jealousy. I don’t want anyone else’s life because I’m not equipped to live it. Instead I celebrate them.
Do you suffer from the comparison virus? I pray you will build an Embrace Your Who Cornerstone.
“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1 ESV)