In the Trenches of Grief

      I recently lost a cousin of mine to suicide. As you can imagine it was a complete shock not only to his immediate family, but everyone who was ever blessed with his presence. He was a warm-hearted person with a lively spirit. Anyone you ask would say he always had a smile on his face and was a very happy-go-lucky kind of guy. When I first heard of the way he passed, my heart instantly broke! I knew all too well the pain they were feeling. Twelve years ago, I lost my dad to suicide. Twelve years …

God of Comfort

    God is the ultimate Comforter. No matter what we face in this life, He fully understands. Isn’t that a comfort in and of itself? In a world where we feel so misunderstood, the God of the Universe understands us, in and out, through and through. When my firstborn, eighteen-year-old, son passed away in a car accident, I was beyond desperate to find anyone who could understand my pain. Thankfully, some caring mutual friends linked me up with some other mammas who were walking out the unimaginable journey of child loss. God had comforted these woman, just as He …

A Season of Death and Dying

I stand, lost in the sight before me.  I am looking through the window completely raptured in the thoughts racing through my mind.  As I watch leaves fall to the ground I can feel the cool air radiating through the glass.  One by one, the leaves fall and I notice the beautiful colors of orange, yellow, red and brown.  The leaves have died.  The trees are almost empty now.  I find peace in this moment.  I found comfort even surrounded by death.   Summer is past, we are moving through the season of death, and dying before winter comes.  This reality …

Hidden Grief

Hey friends! I really wanted to write something light hearted today. But after praying and giving it a lot of thought, I felt strongly that God wanted me to share with you about grief, particularly “hidden” grief. Hidden grief is a deep sadness we carry with us daily. It’s buried underneath smiles, productivity, serving and even laughter, but it’s always there under the surface. It can feel as if someone has strapped a backpack full of heavy bricks onto our back. The heaviness is overwhelming at first, but eventually we become so accustomed to the weight of it that we …

My Mother had Alzheimers

  My Mother had Alzheimer. She was diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer’s disease in February 2004. My Dad passed away in October 2001. The disease seemed to rapidly progress after his death. I hate this disease. It robs you of memories and all those things that make up who you are. One of the hardest parts of this disease is having a Mother who doesn’t remember you. My Mother and I had a special mother-daughter relationship. We were close and so it hurts all the more. I was the oldest of four daughters and there was five years between the next …