I had struggled with pain and prescription meds for years. So much so that it almost became a part of me. You could say instead of a struggle I had succumbed and accepted that I had no control over that area of my life. God had been gently reminding me that I didn’t trust Him in that area. I knew that but I needed the meds every day just to make it through the day and night. While I was on a trip with my family it became very apparent that the meds were affecting my memory a lot!! When it hit me that each of the medicines I was taking all had a side effect of short term memory loss, I finally hit rock bottom.
My Daddy had dementia and I absolutely did not want to have that in my future. I cried out to God “Deliver me!!” My answer was “Walk it out”. Which meant no miraculous deliverance!! I said “No, Deliver me!!!” God said “My grace is sufficient”. I cried “I can’t do this!! I don’t want your grace I want your Deliverance!” He said “some things only leave by prayer and fasting.”
Great now I can’t eat either!! I fasted and prayed and moment by moment was delivered from my need for medicine. I am so thankful for His grace even though I thought I didn’t want it. He did not miraculously heal my pain nor deliver me from medication but He was with me every moment of every day and allowed me to get off the medicine and gave me other ways to manage my pain.
Today God gave me an aha moment. As I was speaking about praising God in the midst of trials I read Acts 16: 22-30. Paul and Silas who had been beaten, thrown into prison and chained and yet at midnight they started singing praises to God!! I thought if I had been beaten, jailed and chained the last thing on my mind would be praising God.
However, their praises preceded their deliverance. Then God showed me that when He delivers us it is not just for us. If so, they would have run out of the prison as soon as the doors and chains were opened. But they didn’t because God always has more than you in mind when He delivers you. He had more than Paul and Silas in mind, He had the jailer and his family in mind who came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. When God delivers us it is always to show His Glory and so others will come to know Him!!