I Thought Following God Would Be Different

i see so many encouraging godly post about ordinary people who get out of bed with a spring in their step and a big ole’ smile on their face ready to take on the day with God.

they seem so unstoppable…their faith seems so unmovable…and their love for God seems so unattainable.

and then i take a good long look at myself…

when did i start measuring being a Christ follower to how well i’m like “them”, instead of being like Him?

i complain when the King of King’s gives me an opportunity to be His hands and feet.

i say to God, “ i’m not in the mood. and i’m definitely not as qualified for that as they are.

i think up excuses. i sit back in my comfy church pew. i sing songs about God using anyone and somehow miss that anyone also includes me.

 it’s all too easy to exchange spending time with God, dwelling in God‘s presence, being still enough to remember who He is because, “well, i have _____ to do!”

don’t get me wrong, i’m quick to pray and thank God for supplying all my earthly needs, but minutes later i throw all my clothes on the floor on top of the never-ending pile that’s already been there for days- all while complaining i have nothing to wear.

sending a text message to check on somebody is easy, but if they actually want to meet for coffee… “wait, i actually have to invest time in them?”

i’m so consumed with my own life that i rarely slow down long enough to do life with someone else…

i miss the blessings- i forfeit the opportunities wrapped within fellowship.

i feel empty and run down.

when did i miss it?

i guess i thought following God would be different- or maybe i didn’t really know what following God was all about.

but i’m learning to lean in closer to the Savor.

i’m learning that i cannot put limits on the Creator- i cannot stuff Him inside a box. i’m learning to lay down my own agenda’s. my limitations. my life.
i’m learning to be more like Him…that’s what following God is.

i come to sit at His feet. i come to learn.
Lord, pour me out and pour You in.

again & again & again.

i journaled some of these thoughts a while ago and tucked them away. recently i revisited them and they hit me like a ton of bricks! though time and seasons have changed, those raw words are what my heart needs.

God always amazes me how He is not limited by time. He stretches His hand through it and touches me with what i need to hear- even old words, and especially His Word.

He endlessly meets me where i am, never leaving me the way in which i come.

and that’s what draws me to Him.

2 Timothy 1:9 “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time

Lenzi Rose