What a prayer! The magnitude and intense belief to even pray this is something to be appreciated. This dares me, dares me to be free. It dares me to question if I’m living in the freedom I am promised through salvation. Free to trust God and all His mastery!
The past year, 2015, was full of wider seas, storms, and loss of sight of land. Unlike Drake, I had not prayed this request. I found myself in a lot of life with a little faith. I am learning that the thing about God is that He allows me to go through situations I have no clue how to deal with and by all accounts, looking at the facts, there is no way I can make it on my own. That’s the point! When I don’t know any other way, I then run to Him.
It doesn’t feel so great admitting that but that’s how I work, at least for now. So, I ran to Him this past year. I fell on my knees and begged and pleaded. I threw myself into His word because I needed to know who the Bible says He is. I sought testimony from other believers of how God brought them through those storms and wider seas. Even with those acts of running after Him I had to truly trust HE would bring ME through. I had to truly believe He would bring me through because He didn’t bring me this far to leave me now.
If I had questioned my freedom at any other point and time, the result would not have been what it is now. A different point in my life would have affected my perspective. The storms of 2015 brought me to a greater understanding of freedom with which comes a deeper understanding. The freedom of knowing and accepting that during trying times and times of great obstacles, I always feel the closest to God.
In the past I have always anticipated and expected the inevitable “bottom falling out”. That’s my track record, not God’s. That’s the difference; in the past I wasn’t free in Christ! I had to remind myself things are different now. Who I was and what He was to me is not the same now!
Through hard times in the past and continuing through 2015, God opened my eyes. He truly allowed me to see His mastery! He was there the whole time. He loved me too much to not refine me and draw me away from the land. He put me out to sea during the storms so He could push me further from what I thought was stable, solid land. He pushed me toward a greater spiritual beauty… the stars, His artistry. I can say this; beauty in Christ is painful. It hurts, it’s scary, and I fought the process a lot!
Discomfort and disruption is not something I naturally want! My flesh likes comfort. I like routine. I want to know when, where, how, and who. I want to be in control. The gratification I “think” I receive from this control is so deceiving. The deception is so invisible and undetected. Before I know it, I’m running solely on my own strength! That’s what I was doing for a while and once again I set myself up for disaster! I was knocking the bottom out of things with out any help. I was constantly thinking I have to know “when” this will happen, “how” this will change, “where” this will end up. I allowed all the weight of life to rest upon my shoulders. But, my victories were not mine to begin with! Let me say that again, my victories were not mine! They were not won on my strength!
God tells Moses in Exodus 3: 14, “I am what I am.” That is God’s response to Moses as he questioned God’s use of his life. Like Moses, I was questioning. I questioned if God would, could, or can. God is the “I”, not me. I’m not in control. This doesn’t have to be my life! He can truly push me to be free, if I allow it.
I was the one who chose to bear burdens that were not mine to carry. I was holding out from surrendering all parts of my life, instead choosing what I wanted God to take care of and what I still wanted to control. The feelings of fake comfort, the thoughts of deceiving control, those were the problems. Deception was the devil misguiding my focus from the true mastery of God.
God’s word tells me that He has the answers and He knows the plan. Jeremiah 29: 11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” His thoughts are greater than my little ol’ brain can imagine and His ways are too. Isaiah 55: 9 tells us, “As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Selfish pride and the devil was the root of the deception keeping me from allowing the God of the universe to guide my life, keeping me from being led out to sea away from the safety of land, anchored to things I had no business being chained to. If God in the beginning created the Heavens and Earth and wove me with detail and thought in my mother’s womb, and if I believe the truth, then why would He want me to be left in my current situation? Genesis 1: 1 assures us that “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Psalm 139: 13 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.” Psalms 147: 4 tells us God “counts the stars and calls them all by name,” and Luke 12: 7a promises “…even the hairs on your head are all numbered, fear not…” My God knows the stars by name and every hair on my head. Why would he leave me in the storm for me to be simply adrift out at sea? Why would I not believe He has my life under control?? Why would I not believe He had a better agenda than my own?
Like my choice to follow Christ through salvation, I found myself having to choose again. Was I going to allow Him to guide me, to be the Lord of my life? Christ wants my soul, yes, but he also wants my life to project His mastery through all storms and obstacles. HE wants to be the wind that pushes me out to sea. He desires for me to be bold by allowing Him to teach me through the storms and to accept that there is a solution beyond me. I need to lose sight of the physical and allow the spiritual to take forefront in my mind. This is where the true action of faith happened for me.
I needed to know the Scripture… plus more, allowing Him to make it truth through application that only happened when I was made to apply it. I needed knowledge that meant not just knowing something in your head, but the wisdom of knowing it to be true through experience. Without the storms and obstacles I had no way of exercising these tools.
Real life is the catalyst for true boldness and venture. That’s what God wanted to show me! The loss of sight of what I knew to be solid, physical, and tangible is truly a gift. Tangible forms are of this earth, but I serve a God that is beyond that, He wants me to have my mind open to whatever He sees fit. Our lives are never ours to begin with.
I had to grow with my storms and be greater. I couldn’t just come out of my first encounter with Christ spitting out prayers like Francis Drake’s. I had to have history, to know more. I wouldn’t have been capable of understanding. It is only through the past victories that my reliance on God grew, my trust was deepened, and ultimately my faith has grown. Through that growth I dare boldly to seek more spiritual and less physical. Its only then that my perspective is open to see His mastery, to look at the stars and see the heavens brighter than what I see right in front of me.
This is no easy feat. I have spent many days and nights wondering, “God, don’t you even see me?” He has shown me through many obstacles this past year and over my life as a whole… “I see you Brittany”.
It’s only through storms, and finding myself adrift, that I can better understand with a deepened knowledge of Him that was not yet real to me through scripture, prayer, and testimonies. Though those things aided in my progress, it was my own experience with Him that proved His solid presence in my life and that He will continue to be present. Only now can I say with confidence and true wisdom that my trust of his mastery has grown, because of wider seas, storms and losing sight of land.
Thank you Jesus for giving me what I need and not what I want. Help me to know you better than I know myself. I want you to be the master of my life. Be the wind that pushes me to wider seas. Help me to trust you more than I trust my own flesh. Jesus, help me to long for you and the heavens like I long for things of this world. Jesus you have proven to me that your mastery is there, when you had to prove nothing. Keep my eyes on the stars. Thank you for your past victories through me. That through those storms you have given me wins to draw from when I question you. Jesus, if I only know one thing, I know I want a life that has you at the center. I can’t Jesus, but you sure can!
“Only when its dark enough can you see the stars” (Martin Luther King, Jr. On the Mountain, 1963).
Brittany Glaze works as a Hair Stylist in Benton, AR. She has a passion for reaching for Christ those who are broken, lost and hopeless. Brittany loves studying God’s word and spending time with her children.