Sometimes A Push

Sometimes I claim I want to hear God, I ask and pray but yet after many tears, prayers and even some bargaining with God I still don’t have it. I still can’t hear. The problem is…me. I know God is still there just a He has always been, He continues to speak.  I have just moved away; moved away to the point that I cannot hear. Once again I find myself trying to “drive” instead of allowing God, but all the while asking God to speak-tell me-guide me but really at the same time not wanting to hear what he has to say.  Maybe I’m scared of what it will be, or maybe I’m not sure. But today He spoke, He spoke loud and clear and again not saying what I expected. Here is what happened:

As I sit on an old log by a quiet lake I could see a fishing boat coming closer to me. This boat came in fast and loud, busy, direct, knowing exactly where it wanted to go and exactly what it was there for. God said, this boat, this is you. The boat came in bold and strong- nothing wrong with that- bold and strong- God Himself told Joshua to be bold and strong and had told me that as well.

Deuteronomy 31: 23, “The Lord gave this command to Joshua son of Nun:Be strong and courageous, for you will being the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I myself will be with you.”  God even told us in 2 Chronicles 32: 7Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him.

But there is always a catch with bold and strong isn’t there?

As the boat came in the driver knew what he wanted to but didn’t know if he would be successful. As he came closer to where he thought he wanted to be he turned his motor down. He was probably praying that God would lead him to the place he could catch the most fish, but still, his boat pushed him – not God.  Finally, he turned his motor off, but still, his boat pushed him in the way he had directed, the way he thought best not necessarily the way God wanted him to go. It wasn’t until he stopped: his energy had expired that God was able to push him in the direction that would be best.

Do I know he will catch fish today, certainly not but here is what I do know.  I know that I am sitting in the sunshine on a log by the lake.  I know that I had to step around logs, stickers, and twigs. I had plenty of obstacles to overcome just to get here. Maybe the most important thing I know is God will continue to push me, have me step over obstacles. I also know that I can no longer see that fishing boat that came up so strong and bold. I have been reminded that I must stop trying to lead God to my answers. I know God has given me a mission, a job, a purpose and if I can just stop trying to lead Him, then He can finally, finally lead me. He will lead me to something I can only sit in awe of, something greater than I can fathom.

All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your GodDeuteronomy 28: 2


Beth Shumate