Thoughts of Cancer


“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” Psalm 91: 14

Cancer taught me just how small I really am very quickly. I had no control, I had no power, and I cannot heal myself. However God can. But the first question that follows is, but will he? It is in my human nature to judge myself to see if I was worthy. I am divorced. I don’t tithe enough.Sometimes I miss church. I watch things that would be offensive to God. I might be judgmental on occasion. Sometimes I’m selfish, or gossip, or lie. I make mistakes. I sin. Why would God save me? I’m not a saint. As much as I’d love to be the kind of person who spends every moment of every day serving God perfectly, I’m just not.

God’s qualifiers are not like our own. He has one qualifier, “Because he loves me….” I am far from perfect, but I love God with all my heart and soul. With everything I have in me, I love God, despite my imperfections, failings, and shortcomings. I need him to rescue and protect me, from cancer, but also from fear, from suffering, from the chaos. And I qualify! I love God and I acknowledge his name as my God who I will serve to the best of my ability, even if I fail sometimes. I read that verse a little more carefully, “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” This is a promise! This is a bonafide promise that God will not break.

He is incapable of breaking this promise. It’s not in his nature. When I finally realized that and took it to heart, the floodgates of joy burst open. He won’t rescue me and protect me unless I’m perfect. No. He will rescue and protect me simply because I love him. That’s one thing I can do right. I can love God.

God created forgiveness of sin because he knows we will sin, over and over again. It’s easy with cancer to think God won’t help because I haven’t been good enough. But that’s not what God says. He says you love him- you qualify for his promise.

Take a moment and write down just how much you love God and all the reasons why.

Taryn O’Brien-Ogg