The year 2015 came with a personal triumph in the areas of trust and obedience. I learned the real meaning of depending on God. Up until 2015, I had always heard testimonies from great men and women of God telling of how they stepped out on faith and obeyed God. They told of how God provided for them or how God gave them resources for different projects that they knew were from Him. God told me it was my time to learn this lesson for myself.
In October, I left my government job that I had been so comfortable with for the past 11 years and for some reason I just knew that I would one day retire and live happily ever after. I felt the hand of God so strong that I knew in my spirit it could only be Him. I pondered deeply why God would have me to leave. I asked people to pray for me concerning this decision, prayer warriors that I knew could hear from God. Still, I felt God telling me that my season had shifted.
After all these years living as a Christian and still no trust? Trying to think like a psychologist, I went to work making lists of ways that this would affect my life. I listed the positives and I listed the things that would be impacted the most. I listed ways that I would be more available and I listed ways my availability would be limited because of my finances. No more eating out—oh no!!!
Everything boiled down to my control. In all actuality, it was revealed to me that I had not been in control for quite some time. I lost a grip on reality a while back when I did attempt to control my life. I was working numerous hours, not unto the Lord, but working nervously for myself. I can remember one period when I worked 92 hours in a two-week period…that is, in addition to my regular 80-hour shift.
-What was I worried about?
-What had become of my life?
-What was I committed to?
-Where had time gone?
-What was my motivation?
-What had become my idol?
-What was I doing and why?
When I had trouble answering those questions, I sat down with myself and knew it was time to let go. I had run empty. I had run out of answers and I knew I needed an intervention. I knew that it was time to not only turn back to God, but work for Him. God had given me a way of escape. He was opening a door that I knew in my heart He didn’t need any help with but I was having a hard time allowing Him to take over. I had been in the driver’s seat way too long.
So I cried out for help from deep within…”Lord, help me to trust you so that I can obey you.” I submitted my letter of resignation reluctantly, almost a month in advance just to give God a chance to change His mind. I pondered how this idea of not working would change the dynamics of my life, my family, and our financial status. I felt uneasy but at the same time I heard the Holy Spirit say that my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus, just as He always has, even with me working. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe Him, I didn’t know if I really trusted Him. And God did just what He said.
The setting was just right for God to do what only He could do—perform a miracle. Just like the wedding at Cana, the wine had run out, and when Jesus turned the water to wine, HE provided the best wine. The guests responded that the best wine was saved for last!
When I let go, I felt the peace of God like never before. It was if a wave of peace flooded my soul. That was the “it” moment for me. The “it” moment came when I did “it”! That’s when I knew that it was really Him at work in me. Only God can give such peace when you leave something that you thought was vital to your life and you fill that space with Him until that thing is no longer relevant. Philippians 4:7 states that this peace goes beyond human understanding.
My family has better dynamics, we are walking in financial victory without bondage, and I am free to worship–all because of an act of faith that unleashed my trust. I am so glad that God has a plan for my life. I am so grateful that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and that God’s ways are higher than my ways and that His Word does not return unto Him void but accomplishes what He set out to do. I stand on His promises today like never before! My faith is stronger, my trust runs deeper and I am a better follower of Christ because I dared to trust Him!
When God calls you to step out of your comfort zone and take a leap of faith, dare to trust Him and believe His Word. He is always there, guiding you and helping you build your spiritual muscles so that you can believe Him for even more!
This week’s devotion series reposts from My Journey of Faith Magazine.