When we were in Kenya last July the community pastors in the village of Karagoto took us on a hike. I struggled with doing many of the “touristy” things. We were in a beautiful, foreign land, and I was not there to sight see…I had an agenda. I had left behind my children to go and share Chist with the lost. I had an agenda. To be honest, I struggled the first 2 days quite a bit. I told my husband one night that “I did not come here to be on vacation, I came to serve.” God was showing me that my agenda was not his agenda. I began to realize that I was not there for all the reasons I had thought…God had many changes in me that he desired to make, and he removed me from my agenda in order to open my eyes. God took me across the globe to change the eyes of my heart, my intentions, my motives… but most importantly, my plans.
So, back to that hike. The view was amazing, the vegetation was lush and green. We hiked a very narrow trail in a single file line. When we reached the top, we stopped and pulled out our cameras. As I ooed and ahhed over the scenery, the pastors pulled us over to a flat spot of land. They spoke beautifully and transparently and they told us where we were. We were standing in the very spot where they each went to escape the world. Most of these men even received their call to preach while there.. seeking God’s will. These men would go up to this very spot and fast for days, weeks or more. They would sleep under the trees, they would seek God, they would talk to him and they would WAIT to hear from Him. They left behind any agenda they had, to go and wait for the Lord to lead them. This very moment is one I pray I never forget. At that very moment I felt that I was in His presence and was standing on Holy ground. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was crying, broken and humbled. The pastors led a prayer and we were all invited to pray if God led us to do so. As we began our walk down the narrow path, I walked in silence, holding my husband’s hand. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted what these Kenyans had. I was JEALOUS of them. I wanted a slower pace life. I wanted the opportunity to escape to solitude and to be still and listen. I wanted to abandon my agenda on that mountain top. I realized that I had been and was, a slave in bondage, to MY OWN PLANS. I want to “trust in the Lord with all [my] heart; not depend on [my] own understanding. I wanted to sit and “seek His will in all that [I] do, and He will show [me] which path to take.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6) I wanted to be left there, away from everyone, and I wanted to cry out to God and I didn’t want to move until He told me to. My heart cries out to know God’s agenda.
I have some friends who have so graciously begun to share their journey, as a family, through the bondage on addiction and the restoration of God’s sufficient grace. Today, the husband, blogged about his first few days in Rehabilitation. He shared about waking up to hands being laid on him, hearing men who didn’t know his story cry out to Christ on his behalf, and yet in the midst of all of this, he was still trying to hold onto his own agenda.
This all has me thinking about our agendas. What are we slaves to: Work, Money, Business, Hobbies, Depression, Drugs, Alcohol, Pornography, Anger, Lies, Infidelity…..
I feel a range of emotions when I read my dear friend’s blog, but when I read today’s entry I felt those same feelings I felt in Kenya. Jealousy. I was reading about a man who had to remain away from his family for 6 months, and I FELT JEALOUS?! I was jealous because I am a “free” person who still doesn’t take advantage of God’s agenda. How awesome would it be to wake up to hands touching me and shouts of prayer being spoken for me. How incredible would it be to set aside HOURS daily for scripture, worship, and praising God? I find myself wishing I could go to rehab to detox from the world, and to only focus on my Savior.
I would like to challenge you to abandon YOUR agenda and join me as I strive to choose each day whom I will serve. Jeremiah 29: 11 “FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE”
His plans for us are always better than our own.
A Repost from My Journey of Faith Magazine