“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who LOVED us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
God speaks to me. Sometimes it’s in the mundane, ordinary pace of life. Sometimes it is on the mountaintops and other times I hear Him as I am walking through a valley. Typically the Lord speaks to me through scripture, prayer, a song, the wise words of a faithful follower…rarely has it been an audible voice. God chooses to communicate with us because of the incomprehensible love He has for us.
On January 2, as I slept I had a dream and I heard from the Lord. Jared (my husband) and I were in a dark room. There was no light but we were able to see each other in the darkness. We were holding hands and standing side by side. Our backs were being pressed against the wall behind us with what felt like the gravitational force of a roller coaster. In front of us was a thick heavy fog. This supernatural darkness was bearing down against us though it wasn’t tangible. We were terrified. Jared and I never spoke to one another, but it was as if we knew what the other felt. Neither of us knew how to cry out or what to say for our rescue. As the darkness pressed harder, we heard the Lord say, “Draw near.” He spoke 3 times before Jared and I began to say these words with the Lord. Each time I let those words come out, I felt more freedom from the weight of the darkness. I could breathe a bit deeper with each word that escaped my mouth. I began to get louder each time, until I yelled, “Draw near!”
Jared woke me up because I was yelling in my sleep. I woke, knowing I was meant to pray for someone. I was completely unsure who the Lord was leading me to pray for. When morning came I couldn’t shake my dream. As I reflected back over the details and unspoken emotions in the darkness, Jared urged me to look up every scripture on drawing near. As I continued through my ordinary routine of getting ready I was reading a verse I have on my bathroom mirror: Ephesians 6:11-12 “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” As I read that verse I opened my You Version Bible app and God led me directly to Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” When I read that verse, God told me who I was to specifically pray for: my sister. I immediately texted her to share that God had told me to pray that verse over her that day. I prayed hard for her. I examined that passage and tried to understand what God was telling me, yet ironically leaned on my own understanding.
I could not shake God’s command to draw near. My heart was so heavy that I couldn’t forget the words. As I went through the ordinary routine of my workday, I paused at work to look up verses as my husband had urged. Psalm 145:18-19 “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” James 4:8 “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
Within an hour of reading and writing down these verses, I received a phone call from our mom. The news was tragic. My sister’s husband had shot himself. This kind of news shakes your soul and spins your comprehension of life upside down all in a single moment. I hung up, left work in a state of shock and drove to their home, praying God would use me to help by brother in law. As I arrived policemen and firemen met me. I was shaking uncontrollably, heart broken at the situation, sick and unable to wrap my mind around the reality before me. I watched as a helicopter landed to transport him to hope. The detectives were hopeful he would survive, but said it was “bad.”
Within minutes I was faced with an overwhelming darkness as my husband and I had the scene released to us by the police. We chose that moment as an opportunity to serve my sister. I will not share the details of what our eyes have seen. We were surrounded by darkness. We could feel the warfare that had taken place inside their home that morning. In that moment of physical, mental and emotional paralysis I wasn’t even sure what to pray or how to pray. I began saying out loud, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!” (Philippians 4:13) That verse was all I could think of. I said it over and over as I cried and shook and yelled out to God for help. I was saying it so that I would believe it.
We needed God to strengthen us and we needed Satan to hear God’s Word so that he would leave. Then God said to me,” Draw near”. In that moment of the most intense darkness I have ever experienced my back was pressed against a spiritual wall. I was being pressed down by the darkness. It was heavy and overwhelming. I remembered Ephesians 6:11-12 from earlier, “Our battle is not against the flesh but with the evil in this world.” I looked at my husband and knew in my spirit this was the moment God had spoken to me about.
As God told me again to Draw Near, He was giving me a peace that He had gone before us. He is always going before us. God is so faithful! He is agape love! He is omnipotent, omnipresent, the Alpha and the Omega! The storm that began that day has not passed… yet. But God is working in this storm. He is showing us daily to not lean on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will lower the mountains, lift the valleys and make our paths straight. The Lord is worthy to be trusted.
God has something greater for us. There IS something greater for us all. Sometimes the greater comes in the ordinary. Sometimes He reveals His plans on the mountaintop and sometimes He calls us to greater as we walk with Him through the valley. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. This world is fallen. This world is not our home. This world surrounds us with sorrows. Sometimes the darkness presses us against a wall: fearful, unsure of what to pray and unaware of our escape. Draw near. These 2 words have become a promise from my Savior-His words of love for me. These words give me a peace that surpasses all understanding. These words breathe hope into despair. They shine light into the darkness. They set the captive free. They give comfort when our hearts are broken. God never changes! He spoke to numerous people throughout scripture and He still speaks to us. His desire is to be heard. As Mercy Me sings in The Secret “In the stillness, in the quiet hour I wait, only for You. I want to know You more.” We, you and I, need to know Him more. But we do not need more of God- He needs more of us.
Sometimes God speaks to me. Sometimes (more often) my heart is so cluttered with idols and sin that I don’t allow my ears to hear His voice. Sometimes God speaks on the mountain. Sometimes He talks in the valley. But find comfort and rest in that whatever circumstances you face. He has gone before you. God, in His infinite LOVE for us has chosen to go before us, the sinful, the shameful, the disobedient, the unworthy.
Deuteronomy 31:6, 8 says “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” He promises again to us in Deuteronomy 1:30-31,“The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place”.
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) God is so great! He is worthy of our praise. He is worthy to be trusted. His unfailing LOVE never runs out. The Lord takes ashes and brings beauty. He takes our pain and delivers healing. He sees our brokenness and begins restoration. He gives us a way out. When there seems to be no way, He makes the way!! Jesus is THE way.
The Lord rescued my brother in law! The Lord has saved him, because God hasn’t completed His work through him. The road ahead is unknown, but all the praise and glory is His. There will be surgeries and many therapies. Many prayers have been lifted up and there are many prayers needed. Our family has been lavishly loved and we are so thankful for the body of Christ. There have been many great days and fewer setbacks. Even in the setbacks we praise Him. Jehovah Rapha will deliver physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing. God has done great things, but I know greater things are yet to come. Greater things for my brother in law, greater things for my sister, greater things for my family, and greater things for YOU. Draw near to Him. He is calling out for you.
Katie Clifton Mother of three children. She currently resides with her husband and family in Benton, Arkansas, where she serves as a youth leader at her church and an advocate for Adoption in her community.